Sometimes rare events are great. Other times they just suck
Last Sunday, the 6th of October 2013, Eloise Woodrow was born by emergency caesarean. We had run into a few speed bumps along the way during the pregnancy so we knew there might be some issues when she was born. They had found she was small for her gestational age and also had a VSD (heart defect), this kind of thing, we didn't find out till later, can be linked to chromosomal issues. The most common issue being Downs Syndrome. There are also two other chromosomal issues, T13 and T18, both which have grim outcomes. It was fine, we told ourselves, we can live with a child with Downs, we have known and been friends with plenty of Downs children it wasn't really a concern. In the end the chance of T13 and T18 is so rare that it isn't going to happen to us. Well it was nice to believe that.
Yesterday our worst fear come true. Eloise has T18. The survival rate for babies with T18 is extremely low, and most don't make it past age one. They don't do the heart operation because of the poor survival rate. This means she has no chance and will die. Maybe in a few days, or weeks, but not months.
As a parent this is not something that we have ever wanted to deal with. Not so soon. Not ever. It's hard enough losing a friend or a relative let alone your own child. Every parent knows they would throw themselves under a bus for their children. If you could take the pain yourself and free them you would. But you can't and that makes it harder.
To the dumb question “Why me?” the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply: why not?
Christopher Hitchens
Not being a believer in any gods, or devine power, sometimes bad things just happen to good people for no reason. Others have to deal with this kind of pain so why not us too. We will get though it. We will try again.
The only solace that I can take from it all is that it's a (mostly) random event that no one could predict or prevent. It's not anyone's fault. Just a bad thing that happened.
For now the only thing we can do is be with her, love her, and make sure she is comfortable.
Mummy, Daddy, and Harry love you baby girl